Sunday, May 9, 2021

Letting Go (for Mother's Day)

Letting Go

the sword promised Mary

is not hers alone but

belongs to every

mother to whom is

born a child of destiny

which is to say

all of them


having carried as part

of her body

of her very self

the tearing of birth

signals the beginning

of joyful travail which

is the only way to release

and endure - joy being

capacity for what is

only occasionally happy


and so the release

necessary to life begins

small and large losings

on the way to idealized launching

only to realize… 

the connection sustains

the losing persists and 

deepens and spreads


such is the destiny of

a child born turning

outward to a world

needing their unique

selves to share in its saving

and such is the promise of

a sword dividing a Son dying

a mother weeping but…

who would not finally

have it any other way.


He was not the only one

who needed joy to 

endure the cross to

endure the losses to

learn the multiplication

of such division. 

Saturday, April 3, 2021

Saturday Lament

 Saturday Lament - The Wait of Love


There is light that breaks through the

cracks created when the

weight of love the

wait of love

holds its place

in pain


when the last tear

is cried in the brokenness 

of loss become unbearable but 

which is still borne the 

wait of love

holds its place


when light fades so

completely that night

seems all there ever was

and all the terrors triumph the

wait of love

holds its place


when the last shovel full

of the dirt of burial thuds

into the hole of remains

hope dead and buried the

wait of love

holds its place


when the cracks created by 

the weight of love

begin to glow with the

promise of unimagined new the

wait of love

holds its place


love never fails

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Lenten Lament #74

 Lenten Lament #74


a lonely place

browned over in last year’s harvest

whitened in the covering snows

of forced resting


life hidden so deep

the surface like death

brittle cold fragile

in the dark


wondering if life

is possible again

death seems so…

forever.


and then the

smallest sign of swell in the buds

the hint of fresh in the air

a flash of robin red against the dull

a hairline fracture in the mud

suggesting something 

pushing toward light

from darkened life


long nights give way

to equal light 

make way for this 

liminal moment of 

greening signaling 

life triumphs

again.


for those who wait

for those who watch

for those who remember

days of faithfulness

in nights of despair.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Lenten Lament #130

 Lenten Lament - #130


My cry echoes 

bouncing back in my face

from the depths

mercy


Deeply aware 

no reason for

response no

rationale for

even hearing

except…


Remembering all

that disqualifies

that argues 

against but

is silenced

by forgiveness


And so…

i wait 

watching in 

deep echoing darkness 

for the hint of hope 

brightening the night


the darkness

sparking

with remembered

faithfulness with

hoped for 

forgiveness


i wait 

watching

intent on love 

gleaming in the

thin space 

depths 

met with 

mercy


more than a

watchman i

wait for the 

morning in 

mourning 

who can stand?


deep dark

wondering

can unfailing

love…

fail?

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Lenten Lament - #13

Lenten Lament - #13

How long?

The question lingers

echoing back from

piled up disappointments

discarded dreams

the rubble of might have been


How long?

That it is asked

suggests

hope is not

dead

not quite

dead


How long?

Still a spark

remembered 

relationship 

a familiar face

wet with

shared tears


How long?

a statement

of stillness

of waiting

of longing

beyond the 

moment


How long?

trust emerges

from under the longing

and leads the praise

joy in a minor key


Your lovingkindness

experienced in

the moment

or not…

the only sufficient

answer.

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Lenten Lament - #55

 Lenten Lament - #55 w. #22


You

familiar friend

Is it I


You

close companion

Is it I


You

sharing the cup

Is it I


You 

sharing the bread

Is it I


You

feet still damp

Is it I


You

Surely… not

sifted like wheat


You

Even if they…

i have prayed


You

Never would I

that faith not fail


You

failed familiar friend

return and

strengthen…

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Lenten Lament - #3

 Lenten Lament - #3


Hearing the voice

sketching

exposing mistrust

desiring

devouring the

created tree as if

as if…


now exposed

naked

ashamed

and hiding

from the one

who enables

goodness


Hearing the Voice

mirroring

exposing fear

hiding

clinging to the 

created tree as if

as if…


hoping not to

be seen

be noticed

be found


longing to

be seen

be noticed 

be found


by the One

who enables

goodness

and Who…

walks and

waits and

asks…


Where are you?

Friday, February 19, 2021

Lenten Training - #22

Lenten Training - #22


Loss upon loss

presses us to

the bottom

of hope…

well passed 

the why

leaving us to wonder…

leaving us to wander


the more the sense

of safety - of security

was founded on

the dirt and the

things arising therefrom

the greater the

sense of loss

upon loss


and…

the wonder turns

heart broken

tear stained

to the leaden sky

crying out

forsaken


in the stillness

the silence following 

comes the echo

a familiar voice

sharing the same

cry of forsakenness


God

with us. 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

When Leaders Fall

How do we respond when leaders, whom we have admired and from whose ministry we have benefited, are shown to have clay feet - and, worse, to have used their leadership position in manipulative and predatory ways? I am no longer surprised - but am increasingly deeply saddened - especially for the damage done to the cause of Jesus, and to many of followers of Jesus. We all bear responsibility for a “Christian” identity - an “evangelical” culture - that has become a conformed imitation of the world in which we live - requiring the use of quotes to indicate the shift in the meaning of those words, reducing them to irrelevance. 

The mark of mature leadership, as Jesus defined and modeled it, is self-sacrificing, humble, service, largely unconcerned about the number of followers - resistant to the demands of the crowds - especially protective of the powerless. What we seem to have produced instead is a “christian” version of the celebrity culture in which talented, gifted and/or beautiful people ride the wave of popularity to a level of influence far beyond their character’s ability to support. Positional power has superseded character as a test of validation. This is the inevitable result when we give character a bye in favor of what we consider success - and worse, make excuses for ourselves and those we admire because of that success. 


The deeper tragedy, perhaps, is that for every exposed leader there is an army of knowing sycophants, basking in reflected glory,  unwilling to jeopardize their own position, unwilling to question - let alone hold accountable - the great man. And here, while there are likely exceptions, the gender is deliberately specific. By far the greatest number of positional predators through the ages have been men. That alone should cause us to reject any unquestioning adherence to a hierarchical system that perpetuates it. 


So, what are we to say to those who came to a genuine and life-changing encounter with Jesus by means of the dark and crooked alleyways of some of his followers? We say that Jesus is still true - still everything you have thought and found Him to be - still the very Life of God present with you and for you - still worthy of worshipping and following. 


That some of His followers fail is not surprising. But every public failure ought occasion a prolonged, Holy Spirit guided, look in the mirror at my own soul, praying that He would search my heart, revealing what is in me, giving me courage to repent - even if that means stepping down from positions of influence. It means owning my own actions before I am “caught” - so that at least the consequences which are already discernible make some sense. It means listening and hearing the voices of those holding me to account. I can’t help but think that stepping down would be more transformative towards maturity than all my clinging to place and position. 


We need also to say Jesus told us it would be like this - it was a primary concern for Him (and Paul and Peter and John). He said that there would be false prophets, speaking true and untrue things in His Name, performing or seeming to perform amazing miracles in His Name - but who were not authorized by Him, nor whose character supported their glittering but brittle public image. That is why one of the primary roles of the shepherd - the pastor - is to protect the flock from predators whether from the inside or outside the church.


We must do better! And by we, I mean me.

Monday, January 18, 2021

Thinking about love

 I had the chance to reflect in a couple of different advent settings to reflect on love...

Isaiah's powerful recording of God's response to His people who feel He may have forgotten them. (Starting about 19 minutes in.)

John and Paul's reflections on the Nature and Triumph of Incarnational Love.



Saturday, January 2, 2021

Old People at Christmas

 

Old People at Christmas

There is something quite wonderful about experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a child. But Luke thought it important that we, likewise, experience Christmas through the eyes of old people, too. And so he tells the story of two old people ­– battered, refined, shaped by years of disappointment – who kept showing up and growing up, until one day all they had been promised took the form of an eight day old baby boy.

Simeon was waiting. You don’t get old and useful without, at the same time, getting good at waiting. God had given him a promise – and then, he had to live with it. The nature of faith is the nature of knowing more than you can see. Simeon, trained by years of doing the right thing, shaped by decades of devotion, enlivened by the Holy Spirit, was someone God thought trustworthy enough to carry the promise. I imagine that there were some difficult days when devotion was all that kept him going. But, when Mary and Joseph did bring Jesus to Temple, Simeon was on task – trained to faithfulness through disappointment.  How else could it have been?

He wasn’t just waiting around – he was waiting with expectancy, with an undefined openness to what God might be up to, leaving the timing of things in God’s hands. Each day closer to death was a day closer to promise kept – so Simeon kept living every day, showing up in his own life, not letting disappointment sideline him in bitterness. So, when the time came – he was ready. Old people keep hope alive through difficult days – reminding of the character of the Promiser, living in the reality of the not yet.

But old people are nothing if not realists – especially when the lights of Christmas can overwhelm with fantasy. He made it clear to Mary that this boy was going to break her heart. That many in Israel, rather than welcoming Him, would reject Him. There is bad news in the good news – old people tell it like it is. Maybe she could hear it from Simeon because in his eyes she saw something of the pain that waiting had shaped in him.

Just then, Anna hobbles onto the scene – and immediately starts laughing and dancing like the little girl faith had shaped in her heart. A conservative calculation puts her waiting at right around sixty years. Sixty!! Sixty years formed by worship, fasting, and prayer enabled her usefulness in her eighty-fourth year! If we could have asked her, I think she might have said that she had nothing better to do. Really. Then the school girl’s worship gives way to the grandma’s authoritative witness to anyone who would listen – “this is the One!!”

Anna and Simeon didn’t get old and useful overnight. They didn’t get old and useful by accident. They didn’t get old and useful by simply passing the years. They grew into people whom God could trust with His great story by showing up every day in their own lives, by being devoted in worship, prayer, fasting, generosity of heart – by being filled with the Holy Spirit. Perhaps that is the gift of old people at Christmas.