Jesus made it clear
to the young man who wanted eternal life to come to come to him as a matter of
course, like so much of the rest of his life had, that emptiness – openess – is
a prerequisite to receiving. Both Jesus and the young went away sad because his
hands were so full of so many wonderful things that he had no capacity for the
answer to his question.
As we come to the
turn of the year, this story makes me wonder what my hands hold that limit my ability
to receive the new coming?
There are all kinds
of things this past year has brought that I find myself still holding onto.
Some were damaging when they first came – and continue to be so. I know that
the longer I hang on to them, the greater the damage will be. But I have kind
of gotten used to them – have even adjusted how I think and live to make room
for them. I bring them out every now and then, reliving the hurt and the disappointment
all over again. They will gladly travel with me into the new year – but will
undoubtedly limit my capacity for the new just as surely as they have done
already.
The only way to
receive, is to release. So, I must forgive – those who have hurt me,
intentionally or not. They shall not have control over my capacity for wonder
for one more moment. Release is more important than payback. Release prepares
me for the new. Payback dooms me to repeat the old.
As it turns out, I
must also release myself. In sorting through the contents of my hands, I find
all kinds of coulda, shoulda, wouldas. They circle in an endless spiral of
regret, the fuel of disabling shame – and they have to go! I must not allow what
might have been to limit what might still be!
Of course, tt is not
just painful things I have to release. Like that young man, my hands are full
of some pretty wonderful things. They were meant for the moment – meant to pass
through, to be used – but I have managed to hang on to them, making them the
measure of wonder going forward. But now I find my hands full with yesterday’s
wonder – and without capacity for tomorrow’s! Best to enjoy each moment. Then
let it go – with thanksgiving and sacrifice.
Release makes way for
receiving. It is the only thing that does. No better time than now.
