On Being Kind

On Being Kind

Kindness is linked to “kind” - as in, type or species. The Genesis 1 mandate, which requires collaborating community, is enabled to the degree to which we are kind - and disabled to the degree to which we are unkind. Kindness, then, is not simply icing on the cake – a kind of option for those wearing cardigans and are so inclined – it is a primary mark and maker of the Kingdom. It is especially necessary for communities comprised of people who are not like us – which is to say, every community. The non-negotiable and necessary reality of community, framed in our communal identity as the Image of God, is that we must both be fully ourselves, without defining reference to others, and must respect and honor the other selves with whom we are in proximity – and without whom we could not be Image – to be fully themselves. We live, then, in the co-creative, life-expressing tension of needing to mind our own business – and also to mind the business of others but without seeking to control them. The purpose of our minding their business is that we may know how best to support and encourage it – without seeking to control or manage it – much in the way God does with us.

Kindness is most important when things inevitably go wrong in community – we get sideways to one another, rub one another the wrong way, offend one another inadvertently – and advertently – we do dumb things and then do them again… Without kindness, we would be left with nothing but sharp edges, slicing and dicing one another, melting in our private puddles of self-pity, resentful, angry – looking for the moment to retaliate with maximum damage inflicted – feeling fully justified in every hateful imagination. And without any way to leech the poison out of the system, it would just build up until all our life would be painful, and hostile, and destructive. We would be constantly glancing over our shoulder on the lookout for the next enemy – ready to deliver pre-emptive strikes based on nothing more than imagination. But kindness  forgives pre-emptively – enabling face-saving repentance without shame. Kindness extends mercy to those who least deserve it – which is to say, all of us. Kindness doesn’t forgive strategically – to enforce an action. It does so because that is its nature – and so enables, creates space, for an action.

Admittedly, it is easier – sometimes – to be kind to those we have some affection for. Although, if I am any indicator (I pray God, not!), we don’t do that consistently either. But it is not enough to be the Image of God to and with those to whom we are naturally inclined. Jesus is clear – even those without awareness of God do that! No, if we are to be regarded as children of our Father, we must practice the kindness offered to friends, so that the muscle memory begins to inform our treatment of those who regard themselves as our enemies.

We are never more like our Father than when we are kind – when we show mercy – when we forgive. Kindness is how He is oriented towards all those who are at enmity with Him – enabling Him to treat them, not as they may deserve, but out of His own character. In so doing, He invites us to join the conspiracy of kindness – to remember that we are all the same in our differences – to then treat others as we would like them to treat us. To love, as He loves. To be perfect in this, as He is perfect.

Lord, have mercy!

Oh wait… He already has.