Sunday, September 23, 2012

Who's In Charge Here?

I am not sure who is in charge of these kinds of things, but it seems to me that, having now passed the date of the Autumnal Equinox and being fully into the season called “fall,” the temperature in my neck of the woods (this is fantasy – there are no woods to speak of where I live) should not be hovering around the 100° mark! Something is clearly off somewhere – and I’d like someone to take care of it as soon as possible. Autumn – or Fall, if you prefer – should be a season of crisply cold mornings, bright clear blue sky-ed afternoons, and brilliantly starred evenings. Instead, we get summer redux. What is going on here! And before you suggest global warming as the culprit, I am talking about weather – and that is climate.

Having lived here for more than half my life I should be used to the first few weeks of September being more summery than summer usually is – at least as far as temperature is concerned. Just in time for the kids to head off to sit in classrooms for hours at a time, the temperature soars to annual highs, straining the air conditioning and, now, the electrical grid! Happens year after year. But I complain every time. While I am not a citizen, I am a taxpayer, and that entitles me. And what I have gotten for all my complaining? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. And now, here we are again!!

I have been suspecting this for some time, but this confirms it. Apparently, I am not in charge of the weather. It joins a growing list of other things I have no responsibility for. Not only that – whoever is in charge of the weather (and that growing list of other things I mentioned) is not taking my calls, nor responding to my texts. Not only am I not in charge, I have absolutely no say in the many matters under consideration. This is disconcerting. And extremely disappointing. It is becoming clearer and clearer that the sphere of my authority over things I want to have authority over is much smaller than I had hoped. Much smaller. As in, non-existent.

As it turns out, about all I have authority over is how I respond to the growing list of things I don’t have authority over. This clearly can’t be the way it is supposed to be! Surely, the benefit of having me in charge is obvious to all. In fact, as soon as I get my own things in order, I’ll see what can be done about that speck I see in your eye. Until then, I’ll try not to hit you with this beam. Not sure who is in charge of it, but I aim to find out!


  1. Dear Bill - as a fellow alien (in a couple of senses) I can so appreciate and applaud the words you have written... I don't think global warming is the culprit but then again I am not an expert. Life has a way of heating up and forces me to 'cool off' in the only way I know how. Ice packs. I tell you they are the answer! or the rapture because heaven will not have heat waves. thanks for listening. Let me know when you find out anything.

  2. You know the first half of your life? It is amazing in Southern Alberta! Crisp cold mornings, bright clear blue sky-ed afternoons, and brilliantly starred evenings. Temperature is around 80 degrees and evenings cool off to 60! Not a breath of wind either! We have had at least three weeks so far and the forecast is for more! Maybe someone is suggesting you come home? lol (Worth a try!)